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  #1  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:18:28
VladCat
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Implicit sa ne amuzam oleaca

folosind funcția de căutare a forumului am găsit un singur topic similar care fusese căsăpit de lupta dintre jandarmeria ortodoxă și dușmanii ei. Poate merge un topic cu anecdote, bancuri, filmulețe, etc. amuzante. Spre exemplu:

De câți forumiști e nevoie pt a schimba un bec ?

-1 pentru a schimba becul
-1 pentru a posta si anunta ca becul a fost schimbat
-14 pentru a impartasi experiente similare si a arata noi modalitati de schimbare a becului
-7 pentru a avertiza asupra pericolelor ce apar la schimbarea becurilor
-27 pentru a corecta greseli gramaticale aparute in posturile despre schimbarea becurilor
-53 pentru a lua la misto pe cei ce au corectat greselile gramaticale
-2 profesionisti in domeniu care sa atraga atentia ca termenul corect este “lampa”
-15 care sa pretinda ca au lucrat in domeniu si termenul “bec” este la fel de corect
-109 care spun ca forumul nu este despre becuri si discutia trebuie mutata pe un forum despre becuri
-111 care sustin ca atata timp cat toti folosim becuri, discutia este utila pe forum
-306 pentru a discuta care sunt cele mai bune metode de a schimba becuri, care sunt cele mai bune, de unde se pot cumpara si cat costa
-27 pentru a posta linkuri catre siteuri unde pot fi vazute diverse
modele de becuri
-14 pentru a spune ca linkurile nu sunt corecte si a posta pe cele corecte
-33 pentru a cita tot ce s-a postat pana in momentu respectiv si a raspunde “si eu”
-6 pentru a atrage atentia sa se foloseasca functia “cautare”
-12 pentru a posta ca ei renunta definitiv la forum din cauza divergentelor aparute pe marginea subiectului
-143 pentru a spune “cauta intai pe google si daca nu gasesti nimic despre becuri atunci intreaba pe forum”
-16 posturi unde doi membri poarta o discutie total paralela cu subiectul
-24 posturi in care li se atrage atentia sa foloseasca mesajele private sau e-mailul
-1 moderator care sa avertizeze ca daca nu se inceteaza cu mesajele aiurea va inchide topicul
-1 membru nou al forumului care raspunde la 6 luni dupa ultimul post si totul o ia de la inceput…
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  #2  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:31:07
Fani71 Fani71 is offline
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I-ai uitat pe cei 53 care spun ca ceilalti abordeaza subiectul in mod eretic si pe cei 72 care citaza din sfintii parinti tot ce li se pare ca se refera la becuri.
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  #3  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:36:12
VladCat
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Păi nu e textul meu...și oricum nu îi adugam pe ăia fiindcă eu mă număr printre cei care acuză (mai mult în gând) că subiectele sunt abordate eretic și smerenia-mi nu îmi permite să fac mișto de mine însumi
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  #4  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:42:46
Fani71 Fani71 is offline
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Citat:
În prealabil postat de VladCat Vezi mesajul
Păi nu e textul meu...și oricum nu îi adugam pe ăia fiindcă eu mă număr printre cei care acuză (mai mult în gând) că subiectele sunt abordate eretic și smerenia-mi nu îmi permite să fac mișto de mine însumi
Pai, a rade de noi insine cred ca ne face f bine... Ca sa nu ne luam prea in serios.
Ca veni vorba, am uitat de cer 23 de forumisti care le amintesc celorlalti sa discute despre becuri ca niste gentlemani. :-)
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  #5  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:53:01
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tabitha tabitha is offline
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Cel mai mult mi-a plăcut asta, haha :

Citat:
-1 membru nou al forumului care raspunde la 6 luni dupa ultimul post si totul o ia de la inceput…
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  #6  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 00:57:45
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claudiadcd claudiadcd is offline
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- Cum pastrati armonia conjugala?
- Prin reciprocitate: cand sotia e nervoasa, eu tac.
Si invers: eu tac cand sotia e nervoasa!
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  #7  
Vechi 09.11.2012, 01:03:54
VladCat
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Citat:
În prealabil postat de claudiadcd Vezi mesajul
- Cum pastrati armonia conjugala?
- Prin reciprocitate: cand sotia e nervoasa, eu tac.
Si invers: eu tac cand sotia e nervoasa!
:))))....lovește aproape de bază ăsta
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  #8  
Vechi 29.12.2013, 20:00:18
guest27 guest27 is offline
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Data înregistrării: 21.04.2012
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Implicit o gluma in engleza - un american povesteste cum a invatat limba romana in 37 pasi:)

How I Learned Romanian in 37 Easy Steps
by SAM R.

Step 1 – Speak Italian and Spanish and then laugh and dismiss with a wave the Romanian language. After all they’re all Romance languages, no? Practically all the same.
Step 2 – Meet some Romanians in the United States, ask ‘em to tell you a bunch of words. Only remember one – opt – meaning the number eight. Really. The first day I showed up in Romania, that’s the only word I knew.
Step 3 – Go to Romania, meet 5,012 people who all speak English (naturally) and therefore teach you no Romanian at all.
Do not buy any Romanian-English dictionaries in Romania for some reason (LOL).
Step 4 – Go back to USA, look in every bookstore in your city, realize while there’s plenty of dictionaries and courses and verb lists for Portuguese and Russian, there’s nothing for Romanian. Nada, zip, zilch, zero.
Go onto Amazon dot com and find literally the only Romanian-English dictionary available, first printed in 1946 and never changed since then.
Step 5 – Every day at work, print out one article from an (online) Romanian newspaper. Haul out your antique dictionary and attempt to translate it word for word.
Note: This was especially enjoyable because the fun-loving Romanian powers that be decided toSWITCH UP the spelling of their language after 1989. Har har, my fine fellows!
Step 6 – Get half the words found and starting to be learned but be utterly confounded for hmm, I don’t know, a year or TWO about how in the world your dictionary (seemingly) doesn’t have half the words appearing in a mainstream newspaper.
Step 7 – Go to Romania a few more times, speak only English with everyone and therefore learn just a handful of words.
Step 8 – Finally find out that Pimsleur has a Romanian course. Yay! You park that puppy in your car stereo and learn Romanian on your way to work every day. Then you find out there’s only ONE lesson available and so you just learn how to say buna ziua (hello) with the right accent and then oh well, too bad so sad.
Step 9 – Move to Romania finally. No more visiting for me, baby!
Step 10 – Begin to go to the store by myself and always be extra super sure to maneuver myself so I can read the digits off the cash register because I can’t understand the so-called “numbers” the lady is telling me. Say buna ziua and if she tries to engage in small talk just nod, smile and mumble.
Step 11 – Finally realize that the “official” way Romanians say numbers is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than the way Romanians actually say numbers.
For example: pai-spre-zece is the OFFICIAL way to say 14. The “real” way Romanians say it is pai-shpay.
Step 11B – Be sure to never, ever order TWO of anything because it’s the one number that’s “masculine” for some things and “feminine” for others and I don’t know which is which. So even if I want two of something, I always have to ask for three.
Step 12 – Start talking to gypsies, mostly beggars who approach me first. They’re the only ones who are patient enough to sit around and speak to me in Romanian.
Step 13 – Take my first train ride with nobody helping me.
Step 14 – Get into colossal arguments with my landlord lady, who doesn’t really speak English and is damn sure unhappy about my apartment cleaning skills. At one time she orders me to clean the stove with a toothbrush LOL.
Step 15 – Finally figure out that before 9am I’m supposed to say buna dimineata and that it’s dee-mee-NATZA not dee-mee-NEH-ATZA. Likewise buna seara (for after 6pm) is SEH-RA not SE-AH-RA.
Step 16 – Move to a street with a name ending in “ului” so finally, FINALLY master how to say that after 5,812 times of riding in a taxi and having to give my address to the driver.
Step 17 – Continue meeting Romanians (including girlfriends) who speak English better than I do, thus corroding my already rusty brain and its ability to learn a new language.
Step 18 – Stare at my TV which has no cable or satellite and only receives one channel (PRO TV – television for PROS). 90% of the programming is American shows with subtitles, which helps a little.
Grit my teeth and force myself to watch Romanian “comedies” like Trasniti in NATO (roughly “NATO hijinks” about some Beetle Bailey type soldiers who clown around in the barracks) and La Bloc (the Apartment Building – about a crew of “wacky neighbors”).
Step 19 – Move to another city, get cable TV and a girlfriend who loves shows like Surprize, Surprize (don’t ask – it’s horrible) and finally Schimb de Mame (literally “Mother Exchange”) which is actually pretty good. I get to see the inside of everyone’s apartments (on the TV).
Step 20 – One day be at the store and the total is 6 lei and give the lady 11 lei and when she gives me a quizzical look, formulate my VERY FIRST ROMANIAN SENTENCE EVER which was “so the change will be a 5 lei note” and she smiles, understands and does indeed five me 5 lei back and I skip home walking on sunshine.
Note: Actually this was during the “good old days” when Romanian money all had a billion more zeroes on it. But you get the idea.
Step 21 – Meet the parents of my girlfriend, who I mistakenly think don’t speak English so be “forced” to drink liquor with her dad and exchange witticisms and banter and then find out when I’m pretty well sloshed that ALL ALONG (hee hee!!) the mom speaks English just fine. Luckily I kept the dirty sex talk to a minimum – I THINK.
Step 22 – Begin showing off my new mastery at Romanian, mostly by engaging in conversation with taxi drivers. They in turn universally think I’m Hungarian. It takes me about six months to learn that I speak Romanian just like Marko Bela and so therefore I must be Hungarian like he is.
Note: Later I get to do impressions of Marko Bela for the amusement of my friends and admirers – KA-CHING!
Step 23 – Make friends with a Romanian guy, who speaks English beautifully, and meet a friend girl of his, who doesn’t. Those two start to date (or almost start dating) and then he suddenly gets a job in another city and so “passes” her onto me.
Yay, so now I’ve got my very first friend who DOESN’T speak English!
Step 24 – Continue to meet with her, get to know her roommate, cousins, brother, uncle, mother, father and assorted other people and find out not a single one of ‘em speaks English at all. They’re all from Maramures where apparently it’s illegal to learn English or something. Oh well, their loss and my win!
Finally go to Maramures and go out in the town, meet a whole bunch of new Maramureseni people and find out THEY TOO do not speak English, not one lick of it. Speak Romanian until my tongue falls out of my head.
Step 25 – Keep talking to taxi drivers and cackle with evil delight as occasionally I find a driver who likes to rant and rage against either foreigners and/or Hungarians and all along he doesn’t know ME I’m not Romanian! Ha haa!
Note: The way to do this is LOTS OF MUMBLING. Lots of “da” and mumbling and nobody will ever find out *evil cackle*
Step 26 – Start buying children’s books in Romanian language like Capra Cu Trei Iezi, which was written by a Romanian guy and now I know why it was never translated into English – it’s extremely gruesome and bloody and would scare the crap out of little American bambinos.
Step 27 – Pick up a copy of Romanian poems (Eminescu) sigh and realize I’ll never understand it in 10,000 years. Go to his special tree in Iasi though and take my picture in front of it and consider that a win.
Step 28 – Take a million trains to every part of the country from Craiova to Oradea to Botosani to Constanta and of course Bucharest. Engage in many conversations with the colorful cast of characters riding the rails and have many fine adventures, some of which I can never talk about, like the “incident” with the bisexual man. AHEM!
Step 29 – Finally get confident enough in Romanian to engage in the greatest sport played in this country, otherwise known as the Righteous Scolding.
In Romania, there’s a “correct” way of doing everything from putting on your socks to how to ride a bus and whenever anyone steps out of line, this is the time for a Righteous Scolding. You get to puff up your shoulders, use a very indignant tone of voice, perhaps some good finger waggling and lambaste the poor rule breaker with a good Righteous Scolding.
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  #9  
Vechi 08.01.2014, 00:08:01
retetecupremii retetecupremii is offline
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Implicit castiga bani cu retetele tale

Fa-ti timp pentru lucrurile importante in viata,redescopera pasiunea de a gati pentru tine si cei dragi tie si noi te premiem cu bani si premii surpriza,intra acum pe www.retetecupremii.ro pentru detalii (vezi meniul Regulament concurs din cadrul siteului)
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  #10  
Vechi 12.01.2014, 22:15:35
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tabitha tabitha is offline
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Într-un avion de pasageri, zburau pentru prima data împreuna un pilot evreu si copilotul care era chinez.
Dupa o buna bucata de timp în care nu si-au spus nimic unul celuilalt, evreul rupe tacerea:
- Sa stii ca eu va urasc pe voi, chinezii!
- De ce? - îl intreaba surprins chinezul.
- Pentru ca i-ati atacat pe americani la Pearl Harbor !
- Nu noi am fost, aia au fost japonezii!!!
- Chinezi, japonezi, vietnamezi, pentru mine sunteti toti o apa si-un pamânt!
Chinezul înghite în sec, dar nu spune nimic.
Dupa o noua perioada de tacere, chinezul spune:
- Si eu va urasc pe voi, evreii!
- De ce? - întreaba jignit evreul.
- Pentru ca din cauza voastra s-a scufundat Titanicul!
- Ce prostii vorbesti! Titanicul s-a scufundat pentru ca s-a ciocnit de un iceberg!!
- Iceberg, Goldberg, Spielberg, pentru mine sunteti toti o apa si-un pamânt!
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